And the Wages of Fat Are Thin
Lilith 1:1
Most women have a idolized pair of skinny jeans stashed somewhere in the closet in the hopes that one day they will once again slide into them with a victorious shout. I am no different. How I long to fit back into those clothes! So ladies, allow me to raise the ante. What if I told you that the adornment of those skinny jeans would bring you more money? Should be motivating, no?
No. We've been suspicious of this all along, but lately I have come across more and more articles where employers blatantly admit, no doubt anonymously, that they discriminate against those who take up more space, some in the name of health insurance. Just like the good businessmen/women they are, the percentage of fewer wages follows a scale depending on just how fat the employee is.
So if I'm to wish you all a prosperous New Year, I suppose I must first bow my head and say... May we all be skinny.
posted by Christi Nielsen at 2:47 PM
18 Comments:
Christi,
Far from making me feel poorly about myself, your work resonates with me deeply. It articulates incredibly clearly the impossible response to conflicting messages and confusion that come from our general society.
When I say this, which is your picture, I mean to say that the feeling of bondage that comes from trying to fit one particular ideal is part of what drives us to consume products that hurt us and our environment (something I began speaking about in my previous post).
Thank you for your work, I really like it.
Joy
Hi Christi,
I've been enjoying your blog since discovering it yesterday. The only problem is, you're not fat. I mean, your skinny jeans are probably, what, a size 8? A 6? Mine are a 24.
If you can, try to look at your body from a perspective of what you have, not what you don't have. You are a perfectly lovely, normal-looking woman. The fact that this society makes you think otherwise is just silly and sad. Look at all this creativity you're spending on trying to lose five or 10 pounds. I just wish so much that when I was 140 or 180 I had been able to love and accept myself instead of loathing and dieting and binging my way up to well over 200 pounds.
Stop now while you're ahead.
Okay - let me take a deep breath, sigh, and paste a smile on.
The fact that someone else has more to lose than I do in no way diminishes the way I feel about the 40 pounds that I have to lose. I've lost 10 and have 30 more to go. That puts me 10 pounds ABOVE the recommended weight for my height.
I truly appreciate your compliment. It's just that the more I read related blogs, the more I find overweight people in what seems to be a contest to see who can claim they are fat. Many of them dismiss the rantings of those who weigh less, deeming them unworthy of the fat description.
Yes, my skinny jeans are a size 4, BUT if you gain 40 pounds and can't fit into any of your clothes, you feel fat.
Glad you are enjoying the blog. Hope you'll continue to visit as these images are meant to relate to anyone dealing with a weight/body image issue, regardless of size.
:-)
Thanks Joy. I responded on your blog.
:-)
I've actually had a potential tell me (in not so many words) that they wouldn't hire me because of my size. Their loss, of course, but it certainly didn't do anything to bolster my self confidence.
I think a huge part of the problem is that it is easier to over look those who are obese rather than just a few extra pounds heavier. We aren't looking at the girl who weighs in at 300lbs thinking of her as attractive. Instead we scrutinize the women around us who are 10lbs/20lbs/30lbs heavier and thinking "Oh they would look so good if they just lost x amount of weight".
So you are justified in your thinking. Completely.
Oh my gosh, Jenn - did you seek legal advice?
The only time I was told I had to be a certain weight for work was when I was a flight attendant. Yes - I was your glorified waitress in the sky! :-) About 16 years ago.
Anyway - I don't know how they got away with it besides saying you had to be able to get passed the cart while it was in the aisle in an emergency. At any rate, we were weighed each week in training. 1/4 pound over, and you were out. After training, you could be weighed any time a supervisor thought you might look a little plump. Of course, they could also pull you aside and make you put on more makeup or fix your hair. But we were there for your safety and all that. Ha!
The weight limits have been significantly raised since I left many years ago, and it's odd to hear the men these days complaining about how fat their flight attendants are. hmmmmm.
OK, but Christi, you aren't hearing what I'm saying. I was your size once. I know. Dieting and self-loathing will only make you fatter in the long run. Stop now. Love the body you have. Be grateful every day for its health and strength. Make your clothes fit your body, not the other way around. Use that wonderful creativity on thinking up new ways to love yourself and others. Tell the airlines and the employers and the shallow men to go f**k themselves. If they can't appreciate you, they don't deserve you. Your opinion is the only one that counts.
Look, take it or leave it. I just want to save you some of the time I wasted. It's interesting, this is like having a conversation with my younger self. It's healing for me, anyway.
Thanks Patia.
:-)
Christi,
I have to admit, that the first time I came across your blog, I felt a little like Patia. You look great, to me. But the more I followed your blog, I came to, I think, understand you a little more.
So you used to be a size 4 and now have gained 40 pounds.
So I used to be a size 10 and gained 80 pounds.
A woman who reads my blog used to weight 357 pounds and has only 100 left to lose.
We are all in different places, but all have the same issue, being unhappy with our size and shape.
Your photography really touches me and really hits on body image issues. I really hope that working through a lot of these issues, and maybe helping each other out, we can come to terms with who we each are individually, and learn to love ourselves again. If it takes losing the weight to do that, then that's a personal issue for each of us. If we can learn to do it without losing the weight, that's great too, but again, a personal decision.
Am I babbling? I think I am. Sorry. Just wanted to say, I get you. :)
Thanks so much Bethany. I'm thinking about that image for your different selves. haha!
What so many bloggers forget that is you can be happy 300 or 100. It all depends on how you feel. I am personally sick of people telling me I look fine, as I'm sure Christi is too. It's about what you see in the mirror when no-one else is around.
I think everyone from the Jerome Bettis sized broads (me) to the svelte but "not thin enough" (my best friend who lost 40 pounds but hates the excess flesh and the slight protruding stomach she still has)are the same.
We don't think we're "good enough" because our bodies don't look or feel like what we all think they should. It's an epidemic that touches all women, even those who's bodies we'd kill for.
Don't believe me? Go to an Overeaters Anonymous Anorexic/Bulimic meeting. You will hear such stories of self hatred coming from girls you want to scream at because you've never looked that good. If anything I feel even more compassion for them because they carry their self-loathing internally and act it out all alone with food and then the violence they do to their bodies.
Me? I wear my shame...in huge huge jeans. That best friend I mentioned before, I feel more compassion for her because she thought once she reached that magic number (for her it was 125) everything would be "GREAT"...and it wasn't. She's still not loving her body. She's still looking at plastic surgery websites and restricting calories.
I try to love myself as I am and define myself as more than just a FAT WOMAN...I have been thin and I had all the same drama I do now, just smaller pants.
I am trying to lose weight, but I'm telling myself that it's for a higher quality of life and health instead of my attractiveness...because I'll rebel and self-sabotage.
I love your site so much, Christi. I always relate and email your stuff to all my women friends who are in the struggle with us :)
Thanks Laura.
By the way --
"I have been thin and I had all the same drama I do now, just smaller pants."
Love that!
I think I'll start a favorite quote section and start with yours!
If anyone else has a good quote, go ahead and post or email them. I'll see what I can do within this limited template. Maybe I'll make images out of them. hmmmm
Christi, I see that your work is not only beautiful and expressive, it is important. It is not a contest of whose struggle is greater. The importance lies in the clarity of all those aspects, private and public of how you (we) see ourselves. You need to be published :)
Thank you Dominique. Hopefully I will be one day.
That really is a neat picture!
We all have our own goals. Years ago, I went to work on a project where they were finishing up a weight challenge on the side. They pooled their money and whoever met their goals at the end would win.
There ended up two winners. One only had a goal to lose 10 pounds, but she'd pointed out that she'd been trying to lose that last 10 pounds for years. The other was only close - 38 out of the 40 pounds she wanted to lose, but the other woman agreed that it was the fairest thing.
But the thing is, regardless of how big or small someone is, their goal is uniquely their own. And good luck to all who are working on their goals!
Awhile back I commented telling you that you were ridiculously pretty, or something to that effect.
I would like to add: also interesting. I don't have a coherent response to this conversation, but I certainly do find it thought-provoking.
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