Liar
I can't count how many times I've heard a guy say he wants a natural beauty. What is that? PC vomit spewing from his mouth? Okay - maybe there are a few of you out there who are sincere. There's my disclaimer.
What sells? What do guys always drool over? The girl on the cover who has just returned from PhotoShop hell. Or the girl at the bar who has just recovered from the plastic surgeon's knife.
I think they mean that they want a naturally occurring Angelina Jolie or celebrity du jour. Yeah boys - that's natural.
posted by Christi Nielsen at 4:43 PM
27 Comments:
Amen sister!
Even in a magazine, natural beauty doesn't look anything like the natural "beauty" being seen around here. It's a false image, one I personally can not live up to.
Luckily, my hubby seems to be one of the rare ones. When I do wear make up and doll up, he doesn't bat an eyelash. He appears to love me either way.
Awesome picture. I wish I had your lips!!
For me, a natural beauty is Mary Ann as in Ginger vs. Mary Ann.
I'd take Mary Ann any day of the week because she has a natural beauty.
Guys can want a natural beauty and drool over Angelina Jolie. I do it all the time (except my Angelina Jolie is Monica Belluci).
Regardless, your pics are amazing. I've favoritized you. I dug the one in "Disappear" the most.
I think you are beautiful, thankfully for you that comes naturally. But you are right, natural isn't very natural. As you know I can say this from experience ;) Cause goodness knows my husband is a lot more attracted to my body since my recent plastic surgery.
Ouch.
Have you seen the recent photoshopping tutorials? They're pretty intense. I finally believe it when someone says, "Not even the women in the magazines look like the women in the magazines."
I've finally started figuring my way around Blogger, by the way, and have linked you. I love your photographs.
Thanks all. I just reread that post, and I guess I was just slightly irritated! The fact that I endured a horrid case of the flu this past weekend probably had nothing to do with it.
But my body flush aside, it really does bother me to hear guys talking out of both sides of their mouths... especially when it results in many girls starving themselves.
My ex-husband always pointed out what he liked to call "hail damage" (translation - cellulite) on girls that were thin. They just weren't quite perfect enough. Are they ever?
Hey Stewie -
I used to live in Annapolis - right outside gate 3 of the Naval Academy. Missing me some Riordan's Crab Dip!
Holy cow! My old roommate use to work there (if that's the one that is back in the back roads of Egypt). If it's the same place I'm thinking of, they had great mahimahi (spelling?).
Is gate 3 the one right before the bridge, or is it down closer to the heart of the city?
I used to work at Leader Drugs next to that grocery store (Grohls?). Leader is now a Rite Aid. Nothing like getting your drugs, liquor and lotto all in one convenient stop.
Riordan's was a few doors down from Buddy's - down by the water.
It's been a while, so I don't remember all the details about the bridges and such, but if you're looking at gate 3 from Maryland Ave, the water/restaurants/shops are down the street to your right. Supposedly that's the gate where a scene from No Way Out (I think) was shot.
Is everyone loving this trip down memory lane??
Wouldn't you know I can map a place by the restaurants?
;-)
d'oh!
Yes, I know Riordan's (it's not the place I was thinking of, I was thinking of Cantler's). I have eaten there once, drank there quite a few times.
And Gate 3 is right there by the docks. Man, what a great place to live.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. i have heard SOOO many guys say that they want someone "naturally beautiful".
When you further investigate what "natural" beauty is, you discover that it's the Maxim cover girl, only she has to roll over in the morning looking that good. *sigh*
I don't mind the plastic surgery as much as I mind the emotional baggage that caused (or at least enabled) it. If "enhanced" breast or narrowed thighs are needed to improve your self esteem, spend the money on a therapist and fix your psyche.
You can be too skinny. You can be too fat. There is a lot of room in between.
Another great post, Christi. You just keep 'em coming. It's great that someone is making us all THINK. I recently underwent weight loss surgery to finally deal with my weight. It was a health thing more than a "beauty" thing, but I can't believe the pressure and the attention from the results. It is not a surgery or lifestyle for the faint of heart, and it is aggrevating how society treats people who turn to this method for help. There is just no pleasing anyone: men or women. You've got to love yourself.
Thank you so much, Sandi. I don't profess to have all the answers. Sometimes I just make myself think!! :-)
K.T. -
I think you look great. I've read your blog. I understand where you're coming from. I don't for one second think that you did this just to please your husband. I think you did it for you... which I'm all for.
You say that your husband is more attracted to you now after your plastic surgery. Does that offend you in any way?
hey christie,
it's so interesting from my vantage point as a lesbian - because believe it or not, women suck too. not all, thank god, or i'd never get any ;)
but it's interesting in my search for dates how so many people want nothing to do with my size-16-ass (literally or figuratively). and you'd think women would be forgiving & get it - but i bet if you did a comparison on say, match.com, you'd find that the same percentage of women as men are generous enough to leave their desired body type as "any" or one of the other euphemisms for 'fat'....the rest all want 'slim,slender, athetic, fit, average..." a few are ok with 'curvy, a few extra pounds'...but most women dating women want a hottie just like men who date women.
beautiful photo as always. thanks for putting it all out there.
jenn
Christi,
No, I am not offended. Becuase I am more attracted to my body that pre-surgery. I don't blame him. But there is a difference between women who are fuller figured and those who are shriveled up IMO. All to often I would look at other women, women bigger than me, and be envious of their bodies. Simply because they were more firm.
Good point Jenn. I hadn't thought about it from a lesbian perspective.
I'm surprised that the guys haven't turned this around. Because I won't lie. I like the hot guy with the abs too. But I don't dismiss a guy who might not look like he should be on a magazine cover.
Society in general is much kinder and more forgiving of male imperfections than the other way around. I do realize that much of the scrutinizing comes from women, but that seems to be a critique of themselves, not their partner.
I wonder if this issue is becoming more prevalent on both sides as "perfection" is more attainable with the accessibility of plastic surgery.
Okay I'm rambling.
Interesting blog. This is a different approach, quirky, thought provoking, and your photos, they are pretty amazing. And any man who doesn't see your beauty INSIDE isn't worth knowing.
First off, Love the photos. I would like to say that cellulite does not turn me off. My wife, since having two kids, is not in the same shape as when we got married but still love to see her body.
Another thing I love is she rarely wears makeup and I love it. When she does it’s just a little and she still looks wonderful. Her sister on the other hand over does it and probably has to use a chisel to take it off.
Give me a natural woman with an ass worth grabbing, I don’t want to feel bone when I squeeze. And as my friend Will put it “I don’t want to have to shake the sheets to find her”.
BTW my wife loves your pics and your bolg, I am trying to convince her to pose for me but she doesn’t like her picture taken and I won’t press the issue, I’ll just keep her to myself for now.
Sorry for the long comment, more here than in my own blog now...LOL
Christi - your blog is amazing. You are fearless - just wanted to say thank you for that. :)
I think when men (or women, for that matter) say "natural beauty" it has less to do with body & more to do with FACE. Good skin, good features, and not needing tons of makeup. When I think natural beauty, I think of Neutrogena commercials.
Also, I think it's INCREDIBLY important to differentiate between finding a certain type of woman attractive, and requiring that every woman meet that standard. Of course my husband finds Angelina Jolie attractive - so do I! But he doesn't expect me to look like her, and he's not disappointed that I don't.
Similarly, we live in a 1500-sqare-foot house with 2 bedrooms which I LOVE...it doesn't mean that I don't drive past the mansions here in Atlanta and think "Wow, that would be nice." By the same token, looking at & admiring those homes doesn't make me hate my own house. :-)
Wake up, Professor Fate. YOU enabled it. YOUR ATTITUDE THAT YOU JUST EXHIBITED is what induces women to think they "aren't good enough" and "NEED surgery" to "look attractive to men."
Now unless you are willing to be less judgmental and superficial every time you comment on a woman's attractiveness to yourself (and you do it, "all men are visual"; you all stick to that to excuse your bad behavior), then sit down and shut up.
Your self-portrait serie is amazing. Keep on the good artwork...
absoulutly beautiful!
wow...instant fan. thanks so much for saying what has been on my mind for so long now. i've ballooned nearly 100 lbs. since getting married, and having two kids within the last year and a half. i *know*-call me crazy. everyone else has. anyway, i love everything about your blog. and yes...that goes for your awesome pics, too.
I think they just want the perfect natural beauty or a fake perfect beauty that doesn't look too fake.
I love your pictures, they're really beautiful!
Hi Christi! I found your blog yesterday while sorting through about a hundred blog links from New Zealand. I don't recall which one referred to you, but I'm glad it did.
The thing is, I don't find Angelina Jolie attractive. So where does that leave me. Am I a freak? Oh no! :)
I don't find obesity terribly attractive either, and I have been morbidly obese since childhood. I have experienced the accompanying phenomenon to what you're saying... women claiming not to care about overweight men's bodies, but in fact caring very much indeed!
So, it turns out that attraction is not nearly as simple as we'd thought.
Tell you a story about lust:
you
step out of the downpour
at my freshly opened
door,
dripping on the mat
a rivulet scores down
the never made-up face
not leaving a trail
but dodging wisps and mats
of flung-over hair
gaze curiously at
the letterbox, and
then at me, the grin is
an unstoppable revelation
of not-quite-perfect teeth
and i am captured already
never mind the grooming,
i will remember you
like this
You'd better believe I'm not a liar.
Rich.
I seem to have touched a nerve with this one! Love that!
Thanks everyone.
OK - Rich, you're not a liar. ;-)
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