Because You Sleep Around
What does it take to put a rapist behind bars? The assailant's past criminal history can't be touched because it might unfairly influence the jury. But the victim’s name can be dragged through the mud, calling up every detail of HER history in an attempt to degrade and humiliate. How much more powerless could a person feel than to know that they will be psychologically raped again by the system that serves justice?Labels: rape
posted by Christi Nielsen at 10:51 PM
18 Comments:
What a powerful photo -- it hurt like a punch in the stomach to see it.
I was raped in college by a boy who sat next to me in Theology class. This was back in 1987 when "date rape" wasn't a phrase. I thought rapists wore ski masks and carried knives. I didn't know that some guy in a frat house would smack me around until I was so scared that I would give in would be considered rape.
That was reinforced when I went and talked to my RA who pretty much told me that it was all my fault because I shouldn't have been drunk at that particular frat house and by all means I shouldn't have kissed him earlier in the night because I was "leading him on". She told me to forget it happened.
I never pressed charges. It was a small school and I know that the sentiment would have been exactly that of the person I had turned to for help. It took me years in therapy to stop blaming myself for the rape and to realize that I had suffered a grave injustice twice.
I am also utterly disgusted about this
story in Chigaco and of course the
Duke case. Just because she was a stripper doesn't mean that she was fair game. It infuriates me. Nobody is "asking" for it. NOBODY. NOBODY.
Thanks for that honesty, Laura. Many women have experienced date-rape and remain silent as society waters down her experience with what she did to bring it on.
With the recent joke of a verdict in the Louise Nicholas trial, how could one ever think that a date-rapist could be convicted?
I was raped by my ex-husband, repeatedly. Sometimes by him, or if he was too drunk, with any object handy. He once raped me with a beer bottle which broke and cut my insides.
Then he passed out one night while his boss was over for dinner and his boss had a go at me, then passed out on top of me. When I wanted to press charged, my rapist-husband wouldn't "allow" me for fear he would lose his job.
I look back at that time and sometimes think "How stupid was I?" but I survived. Many scars, most healed, but none forgotten.
One rape counselor actually asked me why I didn't run sooner. After all, I was eduacted, smart, motivated. Did I mention traumatized? People think all rape victims are stupid...or that they deserve it..
People just love to tell someone else that they wouldn't put up with that! (whatever THAT may be).
You don't know what you would do until you're in the situation.
And yes, they don't understand that over a period of time of being abused (physically or emotionally), a person begins to just shut down.
This image is powerful, heartbreaking.
My god. You do very compelling work. I am in awe of your site.
I don't think I've ever felt such a physcial response from a photo before.
Very powerful.
Totally true.
Your photo made me cringe. In a good way. It's so striking, and made me feel guilt for not being more sympathetic to women in this situation. Thank-you!
Striking photo.
What a good question: Why is it the victim is to blame for the lack of control of another human being. It's my right to be me and my right to feel safe being me.
I used to tell my ex that I wasn't going to take the blame for his lack of self control. It was not my fault he hit me. of course this was during is "appology". "I wouldnt have done it had you not...." fill in the blank here. Funny how the FAT thing was always in the background somewhere.
Its true... even I found myself in the "THAT" situation. Prior to this ex I had alway said "I wouldnt put up with it" but true trama can change a lot of things. wait until your there before you judge.
Thanks for always kicking the old brain in the ass. your blog is always so thought provoking. It keeps me on my toes.
Chilling and raw. Thank you, once again, for your honesty.
Been there.
Looked just like that.
On my 19th birthday.
Damn, hun, you nailed it.
Statistics say (or used to say) that one in four women are raped in the US. It's got to be higher than that. It's got to. Speak up girls. Press charges if you can. Talk about it anyway if you can't.
Great photo, chilled me to the core. I was raped when I was 24, also a date rape. I was living in a foreign country and there was no one to help me.
SB, how awful of that rape counsellor. Truly disgusting.
Amazing photo. Thanx for touching me.
Wow. To the photo.
My question, and it might be the stupidest thing to ask, but I am curious and it was the first thing I thought of when I saw the photo: Is that menstrual blood?
Okay, sorry. It has got to be paint. I'm an idiot.
Sorry I keep coming back. I just went through all your photos. They are beautiful, yet very sad. The two that struck me the most, aside from this one, where I am now thinking it is real blood, is the bathtub one and the one with the numbers on your face. It is your face, right?
You are very talented.
Thanks Manic Mom. Yes, these are all self-portraits.
This is actually done with fake blood from the theatre supply store. I'm very process-oriented and will spend hours preparing for an image. Makeup, writing, etc. - it almost becomes part of the work for me. I much prefer that over PhotoShop!
my daughter and her 2 friends were victims of a home invasion by 4 homeless men while on vacation.
when they realized they had no money they raped all three and two became pregnant. whats even more horrible is the case was thrown out because of a technicality and also, even worse they said that all three wore bikinis and were drunk.
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