Because You Wore a Short Skirt...
...it wasn't rape.
Some of you have seen this message before, but I believe it's good for it to resurface.
Thanks Dr. Diana and Holly, two of many fellow bloggers who get the word out.
Only Rapists Can Prevent Rape
A lot has been said about how to prevent rape. Women should learn self-defense. Women should lock themselves in their houses after dark. Women shouldn't have long hair and women shouldn't wear short skirts. Women shouldn't leave drinks unattended. Hell, they shouldn't dare to get drunk at all. Instead of that bullshit, how about:
If a woman is drunk, don't rape her.
If a woman is walking alone at night, don't rape her.
If a woman is drugged and unconscious, don't rape her.
If a woman is wearing a short skirt, don't rape her.
If a woman is jogging in a park at 5 am, don't rape her.
If a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you're still hung up on, don't rape her.
If a woman is asleep in her bed, don't rape her.
If a woman is asleep in your bed, don't rape her.
If a woman is doing her laundry, don't rape her.
If a woman is in a coma, don't rape her.
If a woman changes her mind in the middle of or about a particular activity, don't rape her.
If a woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don't rape her.
If a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don't rape her.
If your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don't rape her.
If your step-daughter is watching TV, don't rape her.
If you break into a house and find a woman there, don't rape her.
If your friend thinks it's okay to rape someone, tell him it's not, and that he's not your friend.
If your "friend" tells you he raped someone, report him to the police.
If your frat-brother or another guy at the party tells you there's an unconscious woman upstairs and it's your turn, don't rape her, call the police and tell the guy he's a rapist.
Tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, sons of friends it's not okay to rape someone.
Don't tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape.
Don't imply that she could have avoided it if she'd only done/not done x.
Don't imply that it's in any way her fault.
Don't let silence imply agreement when someone tells you he "got some" with the drunk girl.
Don't perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions. You can, too, help yourself.
If you agree, re-post it. It's that important.
Note: This goes for any gendered rape, male on female or female on male or female on female or FTM on MTF or non gendered to dual gendered and so on and so forth....
-author unknown
posted by Christi Nielsen at 8:43 AM
37 Comments:
Were you raped?
I'm posting this.
very eloquently said, and such a good idea, don't rape. Amazing that it still has to be said, but we have to keep saying this until rape is a thing of the past.
Janis
memaxmarz
So powerful -- the visual and the statment.
I love your work!!!! I wish someone would have passed this around back in 1987.
your manifesto is a work of art! the message deserved it.
Christi -
nothing really. Just to let you know I visted.
As powerful as ever, my friend. Thank you.
Im not a rapist but its women like you I want to throw down, rape, and beat half to death. You are a slut and as a slut you wear or dont wear clothes that men can get into with little work involved. If you dont want to get raped then dont be a whore. Just remember not to long ago women didnt have rights and delt with being raped. People like you make me sick. Looking for others to blame when it is all your fault. Omg dont touch me because im opening my legs for you and rubbing myself. Its women like you who need to be lynched. You rant and rave about thoes mens faults and whatnot. here is the facts: Men are animals. Period. We try to do our part not to grab women and what not but if your showing it off and a mans cock becomes to hard he is going to jump.. Rape is a 2 way street. If you women wear real clothes and not ones with your pussys hanging out we might be able to control our cocks. If you dont like this comment thats because your an air headed women and I cant fix that... byz
i agree with the anomymous one, if you cant keep your legs closed, we cant keep our dicks under control. you need to get the picture that this isnt a perfect world, and you cant walk around with your legs hanging open like the doors to a church, because men are going to force into the mass. if you dont want to get raped, dont wear something that makes men want to fuck you, because we do want to fuck you, and you should do your part to stop us, or stfu and spread em.
Thank you, Anonymous, for proving to those who might otherwise disbelieve that men like you truly exist.
"Don't perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions. You can, too, help yourself."
yet i suppose women are exempt from trying to help themselves? you women want to be so helpless it is sad, step up and defend yourselves and have the common sense not to jog at 5 am, or wear a skirt that exposes your genetalia, or get drunk at a party with people you dont know, take some responsibility for yourselves, or stop ranting and deal with 20 cocks in your ass.
As a man I don't think like these anonymous guys do. Nor shall I get into a verbal altercation with them. But a real man can control himself.
We may be in the animal kingdom...but we don't have to act like animals...that’s all I need to say.
Actually I'm quite a believer of taking precautions. We learn to do this at a very young age. Look both ways before crossing the street, use the buddy system, etc.
However, the notion of precautionary measures does not allievate the rapist from responsibility. I'm probably not going to be walking around a bad area of town late at night by myself. But if circumstance puts me there, it's not my fault if someone rapes me. It's the rapist's fault for believing that I'm there for the taking.
It's bizarre, isn't it, how some men believe that possession of a penis absolves them from taking any responsibility for what they do with it. Like it's some kind of independent 'thing'.
Oh, and just a couple of points to clarify some misconceptions held by anons up there:
1. Women and girls aren't raped because they "want" to be raped.
2. Men rape because they choose to.
Here via Witchy,…Christi, excellent post and photo message… but as WW knows, being nice to the radical faction here lately, much like alien microwaves, has affected my mind. This is not going to be nice ladies…I warn thee now, and apologize for the vile factor ahead of time, but some things just need to be said.
Anonymous Gentlemen (or, not)
I will wear what I want. I will fuck whom I want. I will drink if I want. Call me a whore, it won’t phase me. You speak of what I deserve, well, then I can tell you if you cannot control your urges, you deserve to be put down like Cujo. A woman can hide a pretty lethal firearm in a short skirt. Men are animals, yes. Women are animals as well. Humans are animals. And if you think you boys have cornered the market on vicious and predatory? Think for a moment, gentlemen…
I could wear a short skirt and a skimpy top and make your dicks hard. I could drink with you. I could give you every ‘go’ sign in the universe. I could drug your drink. I could make someone, with a mere batting of the eye, help me ‘get my drunk boyfriend’ back to the car. I could drive you, in such a state, somewhere where no one knew where you were…after all, you had left wherever you were with a whorishly dressed woman, obviously you were about to get lucky. I could get you out of the car. I could restrain you and drug you again and gag you. I could have my way with you, because oddly enough, even in terror or in a drugged condition, often a male body will respond despite itself. I could beat you, cut you, burn you, sodomize you bloody with whatever was handy, or, well…they make plastic dicks after all…for hours, for days. I could hurt you, badly. Well, you know, you deserved it. You should not have been out at night, in that bar. You should not have been wearing those jeans. You should not have worked out, styled your hair, worn nice clothing, put on aftershave that appealed to me. You should not have made yourself sexually attractive. You should not have been drinking. You should not have gone anywhere with a stranger. It’s your fault. You brought it on yourself. You got what you deserved. You attracted me by flaunting your ass or your shoulders or your smile. You were practically begging for it, boy.
And when I was done with you, I could leave you there, beaten, bloody and broken in more ways than one, and when, if, anyone found you?
Well, gentlemen, who do you think would believe you, hum? I’m intelligent enough to clean up my DNA. Who do you honestly think would do anything other than laugh in your fucking faces when you told them you got raped, beaten, humiliated, preyed upon by a woman? What would your friends say? How well would you sleep at night? Do you think your precious egos would ever recover? Think rape is a joke, boys? Well, how funny would it be to be the punch line? Because women are animals too, gentlemen, best not to draw our attention, lest you get what you deserve.
I guess if all men are animals, that means all fathers want to fuck their daughters and their daughter's friends. All brothers and cousins their sisters. And no such thing as a male friend could exist huh?
Oh dear me, I better find me a nice rock to hide under - I didn't realize all the men in my life were hanging around just so that they could tap my ass, the moment I'm not looking they might rape me - I'm just asking to be raped if I hang out with men. Thanks for that bit of edumacation... It was helpful.
Now I wonder who's been perpetuating the 'all men are dogs' myth in society all these years? Us feminists or anonymous losers like you who give decent men a bad name?
Fuck you!
Also Sara Tonein,
What purpose does it serve to ask if Christi was raped? That to on a blog? Could it not be that you can appreciate a piece of literature and not question why somneone's written it?
Or are you trying to get to the 'credibility' of the poem? You know "the only reason why you wrote this was cause you were raped and therefore a looney"...
I'm not trying to be hostile. Many people use 'being raped' as a weapon against women. As though if a woman is raped and talks against it or her experience of it as though a)she's too fucked up b) she's only releasing her trauma because she's a victim c) she's bitter, i.e. all of these reasons are used to invalidate her experience.
The irony here of course is that who else is supposed to talk about a rape? You? A medical examiner? A psychologist?
I would think if someone was raped - their experience of it would matter more, instead it's another 'blame the victim attitude'.
I don't know if Christi was raped, I just think it's irrelevant to the post and the image. Is it that hard to imagine that other people have empathy for rape victims?
renegade evolution:
I certainly won't blame everything under the sun like a bitch...shit happens and you take it, I'd blame myself for being outdone by an "intelligent" (lmao) whore like yourself.
This is the real world, not your fantasy dream land. Everyone has their own fucking agenda on what their perfect world should be like. If you want to prance around the neighborhood in a mini skirt then go ahead but know that in some guy's ideal world you deserve a hard cock up your ass if he so desires. If you want a change then stop sitting on your ass complaining like a bitch. Or get raped and die already.
Sweet, sweet Anonymous-
If you don't even have the guts to post your own fucked up fantasies without hiding behind 'anonymous'...I'm not too worried.
Mmm I think we have a rapist here who is trying to justify his out of control cock. You will get caught annon and be prepared for some ass fucking once you are in the slammer. Why, because you should not have been wearing those tight little jail pants and wiggling that cute little ass of yours. You will have more blood on your underpants than an anal retentive with piles. If you really deserve it, you might get some nifty spit roasting to really teach you a lesson.
Anon I find it very difficult (even though I am quite supple) to walk around with my ‘legs hanging open’ nor have I seen ‘pussy hanging out’ clothes. What are ‘pussy hanging out’ clothes? Oh dear you are not very well are you, you appear to be hallucinating. Saying that if I wish to dress like a ~whore~ with ‘legs hanging open’ and my pussy hanging out clothes then I will. I will even wear a revealing top with no bra *gasp* letting my 36 double Ders Boing for Britain. Moreover, know what? you still have no right to even touch me. It is not too difficult it is called taking responsibility for one’s self. Who told you that you did not have to grow up? What makes you so special?
ah joy! the comments of an onymous Yeehah!!!!! Let's go.....
if you're so big and hard, what're ya doin' with a girly name like an?;
knowledge of anatomy - 20 dicks up one arse can only mean you and 19 not hugely endowed friends (and where are you going to find 19 friends - under a very very large rock?);
you are genitally obsessed and can't spell genitalia (irony is not an adjective referring to things a bit like iron);
pussy hanging out clothes - feminists wear what they like when hanging out with their pussies (i don't like 'em - they make me sneeze, but it's a free country).
"Im not a rapist but its women like you I want to throw down, rape, and beat half to death" - and yet if you acted on that, you would be a rapist - see note about iron above. oh and there are a couple of apostrophes you might like to insert into your small fantasy - and while you're inserting things, feel free to experiment with your own orifices (that's not where you go to work);
BUT well done - you spotted that RE is intelligent - slight quibble about the quotation marks, but you are living proof that nobody is perfect - and then some; somebody in there after all! (smattering of applause) and presumably once you realised a real 'whore' was addressing you, you might need to wipe down your keyboard - wouldn't want a sticky pause bar would we....
bored now
I'd just like to add, in the spirit of the wonderful 'women-are-responsible-for-everything-men-do-to-them' shit that Anonymous uses, that if Anonymous came anywhere near me and found himself being beaten and kicked, he would only have himself to blame. Take some responsibility for yourself, Anonymous! If you act like a dick spewing hatred of women then some woman is going to beat the living crap out of you someday. You asked for it, after all. We angry women can't control our fists!
Duh, what idiocy.
Where is a safe area of town?
I've felt safe walking in the drag and I've felt fear walking in the toney areas of my neighbourhood. In fact, the area of the city in which I live has had so many sexual assaults that for several years now, there have been volunteer patrols, wearing bright identifying vests, to walk women home upon request. Among the steepled churches, refurbished 200 year old houses, expensive restaurants, theatres and repertoire cinemas.
Good point, Pony.
I wasn't trying to define the good/bad areas of town. I just meant that it's not the victim's fault no matter where it happens, no matter what precautions she took or what precautions some prick thinks she should have taken in exchange for his personal responsibility.
oops - Pony - I may have accidently deleted your last comment. So sorry - I meant to put a cork in the troll.
omg. thanks for this.
i'm definitely reposting this [as soon as i can get beta.blogger to work]! just came across your completely cool blog, by clicking on a random link..
xoxo
ok so i do and dont agree with this sight, not all men are animals. there are fathers who really do love their daughters, brothers who love there sisters and so on. but some man are just out of control. if they cant control their dicks, then they have a fact to prove.
i was in a bad stage twice, once got away, other time not so lucky, my best friend who is a guy and not queer, helped me get over it.
so yes some men are arses, but some arent. you cant put all men in the same boat. it also relays back to women, some are bitchy some arent. every man or women is in a different place
Yes, you are correct. Not all men are animals, and this site does NOT claim that they are. We're talking about the ones who rape. I think it's important to keep in mind that when you read these posts and comments, if you don't fit the bill, then we're not talking about you.
Thanks!
Hey Christi,
First off, AMEN sister! No one deserves to be violated regardless of gender, gender expression, or sexual orientation. Well said!
Second, i loved your use of "non gendered" and "dual gendered"! i've been using gender-variant and gender-queer to describe myself for some time now and am sitting here wondering how "non g" and "dual g" might be defined...how does one determine where they fit on the spectrum of gender?
Respectfully,
The most girly bioboy i know
Rape is one person's choice to take away the choice of someone else. It is always the rapist's fault no matter what the victim is doing at the time. There are no excuses, rape is wrong.
With that said, women you have rights. You can choose to drink until you are unable to make wise decisions. You can choose to wear cloths that draw the attention of everyone around including rapists. You can choose to leave your drink unattended allowing someone to drug it. You can refuse to learn self defense on the grounds that it might not work. You can ignore the fact that it might indeed work.
Along with those and other rights, we as humans have the ugly R word: Responasbility. If we want to be safe we choose to buckle our seat belts. If we want to make money we go to work. If we want to get an education, we go to school. If we don't want to get raped we hope that others will follow the rules and not rape us but we must also do our part and take every reasonable precaution.
Yes rape is ultimatly the choice of the rapist and it is wrong, but is also wrong to pretend that there is nothing that can be done to lessen your chances of becoming a victim. That is your choice.
I'd rape a girl if I could legally get away with it. And you can bitch and whine that it's about power, or violence. It's not though. It's about me being in possession of a big, hard dick and you being in possession of some nice tits and a tight pussy. I wish women were still legally property. I'd have you every night.
Thanks for providing proof. Not just that men like you exist, but that you hide behind Anonymous.
If a woman says no... She means no! She is not asking for it if she wears revealing clothes! So shut up annon you sick perverted man! Have some self control!
A well written article, although I doubt that these words will ever register with the guys who really need to hear them.
The last time that I got fresh with a women who was wearing a "short skirt", she kneed me right in the balls so hard that I ended up in the hospital. It happened many years ago.
These days I consider the “short skirt” to be a symbol of woman’s power and liberation. I guess it all depends upon ones point of reference………….
Alright it's pigheaded, venomous, ignorant fuckheads like you bastards that make me wonder why it's not the standard punishment to skin the skin off your penises for anonymously and PATHETICALLY writing your worthless thoughts.
OK, FUCK, we GET it, you have NO sense of decency!
NO, wait, NO SENSE AT ALL except for a false sense of being worth anything.
How about this.
When a guy pisses me off I wish I could bend him over my fucking knee and stick a dry, hard, 9 inch dildo up his ass. Because fuckheads like you MAKE ME WANT TO.
When they are all over you and think you are coming onto them when you are not then they fucking DESERVE IT.
Besides, most rape cases INVOLVE SOMEONE THE VICTIM ALREADY KNOWS!
So really people, it's not these allegedly 'slutty' girls you meet at clubs that are the majority of people getting raped, but you're sisters, mothers, daughters, friends, cousins, aunts, grandmothers.
YES PEOPLE YOU FUCKING KNOW. YOUR FLESH AND FUCKING BLOOD.
so SHUT THE FUCK UP and TAKE RESPONSIBILITY and remember that even your LITTLE FUCKING SISTER has a pussy that SICK FUCKS LIKE YOU have SUCK THOUGHTS LIKE YOURS ABOUT!!
http://www.stoprapenow.org/takeAction.html
If you want it, Here is the sourcing for
A CHALLENGE TO MY BROTHERS FROM A LAKOTA MAN
Be A True Lakota Man. (slightly edited) Speak Out About Rape George Twiss Management Team Cangleska, Inc.
RAPE is a violent, selfish, degrading, and illegal act. As a man, if your sister, mother, daughter, girlfriend, wife, niece, aunt, friend, co-worker, grandmother, daughter/niece of a friend, or close acquaintance is RAPED, you feel anger and compassion. As a Lakota man, the RAPE of any woman should bring about the same feelings. As a Lakota man, you should be working to make sure this problem in our communities is taken seriously by police and the Court. You should take a stance to protect our women from some of us who have no respect for the sacredness of women and their rights to the security of their own bodies. I challenge you to take that stand and have the courage to tell those of your brothers who need to be reminded that RAPE is not right and not the way of our people. RAPE is a weapon that has been used against our women. It is not our way. For those who make inappropriate jokes about RAPE or feel that a woman is responsible for what happens to her, tell them that no woman asks to be RAPED. Remind them that
WE AS MEN CAN MAKE WOMEN SAFE FROM RAPE BY DOING THE FOLLOWING:
If a woman is drunk, don't rape her.
If a woman is walking alone at night, don't rape her.
If a woman is drugged and unconscious, don't rape her.
If a woman is wearing a short skirt or shorts, don't rape her.
If a woman is jogging in a park at 5 a.m., don't rape her.
If a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you're still hung up on, don't rape her.
If a woman is asleep in her bed, don't rape her.
If a woman is asleep in your bed, don't rape her.
If a woman is doing her laundry, don't rape her.
If a woman is in a coma, don't rape her.
If a woman changes her mind in the middle of petting or sex, don't rape her.
If a woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don't rape her.
If a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don't rape her.
If your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don't rape her.
If your step-daughter is watching TV, don't rape her.
If you break into a house and find a woman there, don't rape her.
If a woman smiles at you and walks out with you at the powwow, don’t rape her.
If you find a woman broke down along the highway, don’t rape her.
If your friend thinks it's okay to rape someone, tell him it's not, and he's not your
friend.
If your friend tells you he raped someone, report him to the police.
If your friend or relative at the party tells you there's an unconscious woman upstairs
and it's your turn, don't rape her. Call the police and tell the guy he's a rapist.
Tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, and sons of friends, it's not
okay to RAPE. Don't imply that the woman could have avoided rape if only
she'd done or not done something. Don't imply that it was in any way her
fault. Don't be silent when he boasts he "got some" while she was passed
out. Don't perpetuate a culture that tells you that men who RAPE have no
control over or responsibility for their actions.
Be A True Lakota Man. (slightly edited) Speak Out About Rape George Twiss Management Team Cangleska, Inc.
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