Fear No Evil
Why do some men think that nothing will happen to a woman if they are accompanied by a male knight in shining armour? "I won't let anything happen to you." "Let me walk you to your car." "I'll protect you." I've never been able to figure this out.
I don't mean to dismiss any dear friend or relative who is concerned for my safety. I actually really appreciate that.
But when you verbalize the idea of looking out for someone's well-being, I believe the words you're looking for are, "There is safety in numbers." I'm not safe with you because you're male. After all, you're not bullet proof for god's sake.
If I feel the need to use the buddy system, I'll feel safer because I'm with another person, not because I'm with another gender.
posted by Christi Nielsen at 10:37 PM
4 Comments:
I think what's behind the idea of being safe with a male is the male taboo against poaching another guy's bird (to use vernacular I've heard). Of course, it's done as a kind of victory to how other guys who is the alpha male (move over and let a real man show you how) but in the context of safety, you are safe with a guy because it says you belong to a male, are important enough to be valued by a male. He's your right to passage not by dint of force, but by gracing you with his presence, therefore, you exist, and are worthy of passing safely.
This is also why two three or four women walking together, sitting together can be approached with "so what are you ladies doing here alone tonight".
Excellent point as usual, Pony!
Twenty three years ago, I went out with a male friend to get drunk. I thought he was my escort, my protector. We went to a gay bar because that seemed safe. He and the other men in the bar looked on dispassionately while I was raped in front of their eyes.
good point! also, taking a self defense or karate class can be empowering :)
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